I wrote out an elaborate, jumbled entry a few hours ago that was a bit disorganized and slightly confusing. I decided not to post it.

Instead, I will write about this realization I have just come upon.

I am cursed. Women simply find me irresistible.

I don't know how I didn't realize this earlier. And it is because of this fact tat I am cursed. Because of my shyness and my natural, Godly good looks women are intimidated by me. See, the problem is this. Women want so badly for me to talk to them.

What they see in me in a young, virile, polite individual with whom they would love even the chance just to get to know me better. That's not even mentioning the various physical acts they would love to perform on and with me. But I digress. Such things are not appropriate material to be discussed on this public forum.

The issue that arises from the indisputable fact that women so desperately want me to talk to them is this, I do not always catch the signals nor do I always act upon my own impulse if I do catch the signals. Sometimes I am not impressed by the female specimen while other times my shyness just takes over.

When I do not oblige the girl, this is when they take matters into their own hands. Some women take the normal route and they show initiative by approaching me instead of waiting for me to approach them. While this is frowned upon by some, I do not mind. Of course, that it assuming the female is reasonably attractive.

While some girls take the normal route, there are other girls that take the more unorthodox approach. Their desire for me is far too great to allow them to just sit back and wait for the possibility that I might grace them with conversation. No. They chose to get my attention in a more direct manner.

Take for instance this one example. I was at the bar with Konkle, Jay, and various other friends of mine. As I'm walking toward the bartender to grab a drink in hopes that I could just sit back and relax with my acquaintances, I start easing my way through the crowd. I have my eyes locked on my beer of choice. I figured I would not play the part of high roller tonight so I would go for a Miller lite.

As I'm walking toward the bar a group of girls push past me in a single file line. I am inexcusably pushed back by these girls one by one. At the back of this line of girls is one especially energetic youth who found me quite stunning. She figured impolitely pushing past me without so much as an "Excuse me" in addition to stepping on my $400 gator skinned shoes ($40 Adidas) was not enough to catch my attention. No. She it upon herself to make herself notable in my eyes by, in passing, throwing her pick up line my way.

"This is the closest you will ever get to me", she says to me. With emphasis on the word "ever."

I know what you're thinking. No way did she mean that. You see, for a few months back I became quite obsessed with a method of enhancing social interaction by studying something called the Mystery Method. The purpose of the Mystery Method is to, among other things, enhance social interaction skills. And, believe it or not, one of the tools employed by the Mystery Method is the "neg." "Negs" are used to produce the opposite of the apparently desired effect. Person A sends a negative qualifier to Person B that actually ends up making Person B more interested in Person A as Person B will try and qualify themselves to Person A.

Well, I say, good job to the girl at the bar. You ALMOST got me. I know that you merely felt so intimidated and unqualified by me that you sent a neg my way in order to try and actually elicit the opposite of your desired effect. Nice one. You almost got me, but I am just too keen to your game plan.

So, now that I know what is going on, I can more easily figure out what people, girls in particular, are thinking. Take last night for example.

I went out with Boot, Eric, Corey, the girls and some other people.

Now, I walk out of the bathroom and am patiently waiting for my friends by the dancing room downstairs, I was in a state of deep thought. Here I was, contemplating possible solutions for the imminent threat of recession on the country and trying to think up good ideas for a proposed economic stimulus package, when I was violently removed from my thoughts.

A female, whom I had not even noticed until she had spoken as she walked passed me, had just come under my spell. She saw me standing in my corner, obviously waiting for the rest of my company, and she thought I was the most attractive male specimen she had ever seen. She also found me to have an amazing sense of humor, a great taste in music, and she knew that I provided the most thought provoking conversation pieces out of anyone she had ever met. Should could tell all of these things with one glance.

How does a plain, ordinary, uninteresting girl such as herself gain the privilege of having me acknowledge her as a human person? Why, throw a neg why dontcha. She figures that a negative qualifier will at least get her foot in the door. But no! I had already learned from my previous experience that those old tricks were not tricky enough to trick a true trickster.

So as she, in passing, said to me "You wish you could have someone like me" I merely brushed it off as a weak and unoriginal attempt to try and get me to notice her and try and qualify my already-qualified self to her. Nope, it didn't work. I think next time she should spew her pick up line while at the same time kneeing me in the balls. I would not be able to resist something like that.

Oh, what a life I lead being cursed. Maybe one of these days I will through one of these desperate females a bone and actually engage in some sort of activity that recognizes that as living, breathing members of our society. I guess there is always hope for these girls.